Kudos on the 70s kitsch! Seriously, if that wall were avocado green instead of beige, I would be in heaven. But, it is beige, it’s not 1974, and those sleeves are a major fire hazard. That chair is amazing.

You know, on the right person this could look kind of nice. It would look ok on this chick if it weren’t for the major attitude she’s trying to cop. Geez, give it a break. However, what immediately got my attention was the caption:

“Knit in Ultra Alpaca, Sabinette is a felted twisted ladder scarf reminiscent of dna.”

Besides the fact that DNA is an acronym and therefore CAPITALIZED:

a) when the fuck has DNA ever looked like fuzzy, limp white pasta?
b) why would I want to wear DNA (pasta) around my neck?
c) scarves are supposed to keep you warm! Which is, frankly, something that neither pasta, ladders, nor enlarged strands of DNA can do.

Ok, I really don’t have a huge problem with this. I mean, if you’re into the whole New Age Boho style of cultural appropriation and really like the I Couldn’t Find My Coat But This Blanket Should Do look, fine. Whatevs. What gets me is that this thing is called “Panini.” What the hell does this hippy shawl/poncho/wrap/comforter thing have to do with panini? It is, by the way, knit in a yarn called Peruvia. Peru? Italy? Huh?

Peruvia also retails for about $7.50 a skein. The pattern calls for 17 skeins. That’s $127.50 (!?).

I’d rather use the $130 to stock my freezer with 45 frozen panini.